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Default English word list

Alright so, I took the default database from there https://skribbliohints.github.io/ and with the help of html, I extracted the words to a list separated by commas. It's useful when you want to translate those words into your native language.
Word of advice, when using google translate, do not put all words at once there, it can rapidly worsen the translation.
(And there is a last thing. Their algorithm of picking only custom words is not working really good, at least for me. Meaning that I often get duplicates, despite having a list this big and without duplicates. I'm still trying to find some solution to this, so if somebody is experiencing this as well, share the knowledge please, I will do the same.)
SOLUTION: Thanks for the reply from PepegaWR who identified the cause. I also tested it and there seems to be a custom words limit of 5000 characters. The easiest way in my opinion is to shuffle the words before each session to minimize the impact. Also thanks to the flynger who had the same idea before me :)
Finally, here it is, enjoy the scribbling ^^ :

ABBA, AC/DC, Abraham Lincoln, Adidas, Africa, Aladdin, America, Amsterdam, Android, Angelina Jolie, Angry Birds, Antarctica, Anubis, Apple, Argentina, Asia, Asterix, Atlantis, Audi, Australia, BMW, BMX, Bambi, Band-Aid, Barack Obama, Bart Simpson, Batman, Beethoven, Bible, Big Ben, Bill Gates, Bitcoin, Black Friday, Bomberman, Brazil, Bruce Lee, Bugs Bunny, Canada, Capricorn, Captain America, Cat Woman, Cerberus, Charlie Chaplin, Chewbacca, China, Chinatown, Christmas, Chrome, Chuck Norris, Colosseum, Cookie Monster, Crash Bandicoot, Creeper, Croatia, Cuba, Cupid, DNA, Daffy Duck, Darwin, Darwin Watterson, Deadpool, Dexter, Discord, Donald Duck, Donald Trump, Dora, Doritos, Dracula, Dumbo, Earth, Easter, Easter Bunny, Egypt, Eiffel tower, Einstein, Elmo, Elon Musk, Elsa, Eminem, England, Europe, Excalibur, Facebook, Family Guy, Fanta, Ferrari, Finn, Finn and Jake, Flash, Florida, France, Frankenstein, Fred Flintstone, Gandalf, Gandhi, Garfield, Germany, God, Goofy, Google, Great Wall, Greece, Green Lantern, Grinch, Gru, Gumball, Happy Meal, Harry Potter, Hawaii, Hello Kitty, Hercules, Hollywood, Home Alone, Homer Simpson, Hula Hoop, Hulk, Ikea, India, Intel, Ireland, Iron Giant, Iron Man, Israel, Italy, Jack-o-lantern, Jackie Chan, James Bond, Japan, JayZ, Jenga, Jesus Christ, Jimmy Neutron, John Cena, Johnny Bravo, KFC, Katy Perry, Kermit, Kim Jong-un, King Kong, Kirby, Kung Fu, Lady Gaga, Las Vegas, Lasagna, Lego, Leonardo DiCaprio, Leonardo da Vinci, Lion King, London, London Eye, Luigi, MTV, Madagascar, Mario, Mark Zuckerberg, Mars, McDonalds, Medusa, Mercedes, Mercury, Mexico, Michael Jackson, Mickey Mouse, Microsoft, Milky Way, Minecraft, Miniclip, Minion, Minotaur, Mona Lisa, Monday, Monster, Mont Blanc, Morgan Freeman, Morse code, Morty, Mount Everest, Mount Rushmore, Mozart, Mr. Bean, Mr. Meeseeks, Mr Bean, Mr Meeseeks, Mummy, NASCAR, Nasa, Nemo, Neptune, Netherlands, New Zealand, Nike, Nintendo Switch, North Korea, Northern Lights, Norway, Notch, Nutella, Obelix, Olaf, Oreo, Pac-Man, Paris, Patrick, Paypal, Peppa Pig, Pepsi, Phineas and Ferb, Photoshop, Picasso, Pikachu, Pink Panther, Pinocchio, Playstation, Pluto, Pokemon, Popeye, Popsicle, Porky Pig, Portugal, Poseidon, Pringles, Pumba, Reddit, Rick, Robbie Rotten, Robin Hood, Romania, Rome, Russia, Samsung, Santa, Saturn, Scooby Doo, Scotland, Segway, Sherlock Holmes, Shrek, Singapore, Skittles, Skrillex, Skype, Slinky, Solar System, Sonic, Spain, Spartacus, Spiderman, SpongeBob, Squidward, Star Wars, Statue of Liberty, Steam, Stegosaurus, Steve Jobs, Stone Age, Sudoku, Suez Canal, Superman, Susan Wojcicki, Sydney Opera House, T-rex, Tails, Tarzan, Teletubby, Terminator, Tetris, The Beatles, Thor, Titanic, Tooth Fairy, Tower Bridge, Tower of Pisa, Tweety, Twitter, UFO, USB, Uranus, Usain Bolt, Vatican, Vault boy, Velociraptor, Venus, Vin Diesel, W-LAN, Wall-e, WhatsApp, William Shakespeare, William Wallace, Winnie the Pooh, Wolverine, Wonder Woman, Xbox, Xerox, Yin and Yang, Yoda, Yoshi, Youtube, Zelda, Zeus, Zorro, Zuma, abstract, abyss, accident, accordion, ace, acid, acne, acorn, action, actor, addiction, addition, adorable, adult, advertisement, afro, afterlife, air conditioner, airbag, aircraft, airplane, airport, alarm, albatross, alcohol, alien, allergy, alley, alligator, almond, alpaca, ambulance, anaconda, anchor, angel, anglerfish, angry, animation, anime, ant, anteater, antelope, antenna, anthill, antivirus, anvil, apartment, apocalypse, applause, apple, apple pie, apple seed, apricot, aquarium, arch, archaeologist, archer, architect, aristocrat, arm, armadillo, armor, armpit, arrow, ash, assassin, assault, asteroid, astronaut, asymmetry, athlete, atom, attic, audience, autograph, avocado, axe, baboon, baby, back pain, backbone, backflip, backpack, bacon, bad, badger, bag, bagel, bagpipes, baguette, bait, bakery, baklava, balance, balcony, bald, ball, ballerina, ballet, balloon, bamboo, banana, bandage, bandana, banjo, bank, banker, bar, barbarian, barbecue, barbed wire, barber, barcode, bark, barn, barrel, bartender, base, basement, basket, basketball, bat, bathroom, bathtub, battery, battle, battleship, bayonet, bazooka, beach, beak, bean, bean bag, beanie, beanstalk, bear, bear trap, beatbox, beaver, bed, bed bug, bed sheet, bedtime, bee, beef, beer, beet, beetle, bell, bell pepper, bellow, belly, belly button, below, belt, bench, betray, bicycle, bill, billiards, bingo, binoculars, biology, birch, bird, bird bath, birthday, biscuit, bite, black, black hole, blackberry, blacksmith, blanket, bleach, blender, blimp, blind, blindfold, blizzard, blood, blowfish, blue, blueberry, blush, boar, board, boat, bobsled, bodyguard, boil, bomb, booger, book, bookmark, bookshelf, boomerang, boots, border, bottle, bottle flip, bounce, bouncer, bow, bowl, bowling, box, boy, bracelet, braces, brain, brainwash, branch, brand, bread, breakfast, breath, brick, bricklayer, bride, bridge, broadcast, broccoli, broken heart, bronze, broom, broomstick, brownie, bruise, brunette, brush, bubble, bubble gum, bucket, building, bulge, bull, bulldozer, bullet, bumper, bungee jumping, bunk bed, bunny, burglar, burp, burrito, bus, bus driver, bus stop, butcher, butler, butt cheeks, butter, butterfly, button, cab driver, cabin, cabinet, cactus, cage, cake, calendar, camel, camera, campfire, camping, can, can opener, canary, candle, canister, cannon, canyon, cap, cape, cappuccino, captain, car wash, cardboard, carnival, carnivore, carpenter, carpet, carrot, cartoon, cash, casino, cast, cat, catalog, catapult, caterpillar, catfish, cathedral, cauldron, cauliflower, cave, caveman, caviar, ceiling, ceiling fan, celebrate, celebrity, cell, cell phone, cello, cement, centaur, centipede, chain, chainsaw, chair, chalk, chameleon, champagne, champion, chandelier, charger, cheek, cheeks, cheerleader, cheese, cheeseburger, cheesecake, cheetah, chef, chemical, cherry, cherry blossom, chess, chest, chest hair, chestnut, chestplate, chew, chicken, chihuahua, child, chime, chimney, chimpanzee, chin, chinchilla, chocolate, chopsticks, church, cicada cigarette, cinema, circle, circus, clap, clarinet, classroom, claw, clay, clean, clickbait, cliff, climb, cloak, clock, cloth, clothes hanger, cloud, clover, clown, clownfish, coach, coal, coast, coast guard, coaster, coat, cobra, cockroach, cocktail, coconut, cocoon, coffee, coffee shop, coffin, coin, cola, cold, collapse, collar, color-blind, comb, comedian, comedy, comet, comfortable, comic book, commander, commercial, communism, community, compass, complete, computer, concert, condiment, cone, confused, console, continent, controller, conversation, cookie, cookie jar, copper, copy, coral, coral reef, cord, cork, corkscrew, corn, corn dog, corner, cornfield, corpse, cotton, cotton candy, country, cousin, cow, cowbell, cowboy, coyote, crab, crack, crate, crawl space, crayon, cream, credit, credit card, cricket, cringe, crocodile, croissant, crossbow, crow, crowbar, crucible, cruise, crust, crystal, cube, cuckoo, cucumber, cup, cupboard, cupcake, curry, curtain, cushion, customer, cut, cute, cyborg, cylinder, cymbal, dagger, daisy, dalmatian, dance, dandelion, dandruff, darts, dashboard, daughter, day, dead, deaf, deep, deer, defense, delivery, demon, demonstration, dent, dentist, deodorant, depressed, derp, desert, desk, desperate, dessert, detective, detonate, dew, diagonal, diagram, diamond, diaper, dice, dictionary, die, diet, dig, dinner, dinosaur, diploma, dirty, disaster, disease, dishrag, dispenser, display, diss track, distance, diva, divorce, dizzy, dock, doctor, dog, doghouse, doll, dollar, dollhouse, dolphin, dome, dominoes, donkey, door, doorknob, dots, double, dough, download, dragon, dragonfly, drain, drama, drawer, dream, dress, drink, drip, drive, driver, drool, droplet, drought, drum, drum kit, duck, duct tape, duel, dwarf, dynamite, eagle, ear, earbuds, earthquake, earwax, east, eat, echo, eclipse, eel, egg, eggplant, elbow, elder, election, electric car, electric guitar, electrician, electricity, elephant, elevator, embers, emerald, emoji, employer, emu, end, engine, engineer, equator, eraser, error, eskimo, espresso, evaporate, evening, evolution, exam, excavator, exercise, explosion, eye, eyebrow, eyelash, eye shadow, fabric, fabulous, facade, face, face paint, factory, failure, fairy, fake teeth, fall, family, farm, farmer, fashion designer, fast, fast food, fast forward, father, faucet, feather, fence, fencing, fern, festival, fidget spinner, field, figurine, filmmaker, filter, finger, fingernail, fingertip, fire alarm, fire hydrant, fire truck, fireball, firecracker, firefighter, firefly, firehouse, fireman, fireplace, fireproof, fireside, firework, fish, fish bowl, fisherman, fist fight, fitness trainer, fizz, flag, flagpole, flamethrower, flamingo, flashlight, flask, flea, flight attendant, flock, floodlight, floppy disk, florist, flower, flu, fluid, flush, flute, fly, fly swatter, flying pig, fog, foil, folder, food, forehead, forest, forest fire, fork, fort, fortress, fortune, fossil, fountain, fox, frame, freckles, freezer, fridge, fries, frog, frostbite, frosting, frown, fruit, full, full moon, funeral, funny, fur, furniture, galaxy, gang, gangster, garage, garbage, garden, gardener, garlic, gas, gas mask, gasoline, gasp, gate, gem, gender, generator, genie, gentle, gentleman, geography, germ, geyser, ghost, giant, gift, giraffe, girl, gladiator, glass, glasses, glitter, globe, gloss, glove, glow, glowstick, glue, glue stick, gnome, goal, goat, goatee, goblin, godfather, gold, gold chain, golden apple, golden egg, goldfish, golf, golf cart, good, goose, gorilla, graduation, graffiti, grandmother, grapefruit, grapes, graph, grass, grasshopper, grave, gravedigger, gravel, graveyard, gravity, greed, grenade, grid, grill, grin, groom, grumpy, guillotine, guinea pig, guitar, gumball, gummy, gummy bear, gummy worm, hacker, hair, hair roller, hairbrush, haircut, hairspray, hairy, half, halo, ham, hamburger, hammer, hammock, hamster, hand, handicap, handle, handshake, hanger, happy, harbor, hard, hard hat, harmonica, harp, harpoon, hashtag, hat, hazard, hazelnut, head, headache, headband, headboard, heading, headphones, health, heart, heat, hedgehog, heel, heist, helicopter, hell, helmet, hen, hermit, hero, hexagon, hibernate, hieroglyph, high five, high heels, high score, highway, hilarious, hill, hip hop, hippie, hippo, hitchhiker, hive, hobbit, hockey, holiday, homeless, honey, honeycomb, hoof, hook, hop, hopscotch, horizon, horn, horse, horsewhip, hose, hospital, hot, hot chocolate, hot dog, hot sauce, hotel, hourglass, house, hovercraft, hug, hummingbird, hunger, hunter, hurdle, hurt, husband, hut, hyena, hypnotize, iPad, iPhone, ice, ice cream, ice cream truck, iceberg, icicle, idea, imagination, impact, incognito, industry, infinite, injection, insect, inside, insomnia, internet, intersection, interview, invasion, invention, invisible, iron, island, ivy, jacket, jackhammer, jaguar, jail, jalapeno, janitor, jaw, jazz, jeans, jeep, jello, jelly, jellyfish, jester, jet ski, joker, journalist, journey, judge, juggle, juice, jump rope, jungle, junk food, kangaroo, karaoke, karate, katana, kazoo, kebab, keg, kendama, ketchup, kettle, key, keyboard, kidney, kindergarten, king, kiss, kitchen, kite, kitten, kiwi, knee, kneel, knife, knight, knot, knuckle, koala, kraken, label, laboratory, ladder, lady, ladybug, lake, lamb, lamp, landlord, landscape, lane, language, lantern, lap, laptop, laser, lasso, laundry, lava, lava lamp, lawn mower, lawyer, leader, leaf, leak, leash, leather, leave, leech, legs, lemon, lemonade, lemur, lens, leprechaun, lettuce, levitate, librarian, library, licorice, lid, light bulb, lighter, lighthouse, lightning, lightsaber, lily, lilypad, limbo, lime, limousine, line, link, lion, lips, lipstick, litter box, lizard, llama, loading, loaf, lobster, lock, log, logo, lollipop, loot, loser, lotion, lottery, lounge, love, low, luck, luggage, lumberjack, lung, lynx, lyrics, macaroni, machine, macho, mafia, magazine, magic, magic trick, magic wand, magician, magma, magnet, magnifier, maid, mailbox, mailman, makeup, mall, mammoth, manatee, manhole, manicure, mannequin, mansion, mantis, map, maracas, marathon, marble, margarine, marigold, market, marmalade, marmot, marshmallow, mascot, mask, massage, match, matchbox, mattress, mayonnaise, mayor, maze, meal, meat, meatball, meatloaf, mechanic, meerkat, megaphone, melon, melt, meme, mermaid, message, messy, metal, meteorite, microphone, microscope, microwave, midnight, military, milk, milkman, milkshake, mime, miner, minigolf, minivan, mint, minute, mirror, missile, model, mohawk, mold, mole, money, monk, monkey, monster, moon, moose, mop, morning, mosquito, moss, moth, mothball, mother, motherboard, motorbike, motorcycle, mountain, mouse, mousetrap, mouth, movie, mud, muffin, mug, murderer, muscle, museum, mushroom, musket, mustache, mustard, nachos, nail, nail file, nail polish, napkin, narwhal, nature, navy, neck, needle, neighbor, neighborhood, nerd, nest, network, newspaper, nickel, night, nightclub, nightmare, ninja, noob, noodle, north, nose, nose hair, nose ring, nosebleed, nostrils, notebook, notepad, nothing, notification, novel, nugget, nuke, nun, nurse, nut, nutcracker, nutmeg, nutshell, oar, observatory, ocean, octagon, octopus, office, oil, old, omelet, onion, open, opera, orange, orangutan, orbit, orca, orchestra, orchid, organ, origami, ostrich, otter, outside, oval, overweight, owl, oxygen, oyster, paddle, page, pain, paint, paintball, pajamas, palace, palette, palm, palm tree, pan, pancake, panda, panpipes, panther, pants, papaya, paper, paper bag, parachute, parade, parakeet, parents, park, parking, parrot, party, password, pasta, pastry, path, patient, patio, patriot, pause, pavement, paw, peace, peach, peacock, peanut, pear, peas, peasant, pedal, pelican, pencil, pencil case, pencil sharpener, pendulum, penguin, peninsula, penny, pensioner, pepper, pepperoni, perfume, periscope, person, pet food, pet shop, petal, pharmacist, photo frame, photograph, photographer, piano, pickaxe, pickle, picnic, pie, pig, pigeon, piggy bank, pigsty, pike, pill, pillar, pillow, pillow fight, pilot, pimple, pin, pinball, pine, pine cone, pineapple, pink, pinky, pinwheel, pipe, pirate, pirate ship, pistachio, pistol, pitchfork, pizza, plague, planet, plank, plate, platypus, player, playground, plow, plug, plumber, plunger, pocket, pogo stick, point, poison, poisonous, poke, polar bear, policeman, pollution, polo, pond, pony, ponytail, poodle, poop, poor, popcorn, pope, poppy, popular, porch, porcupine, portal, portrait, positive, postcard, poster, pot, pot of gold, potato, potion, pound, powder, prawn, pray, preach, pregnant, present, president, pretzel, price tag, priest, prince, princess, printer, prism, prison, pro, procrastination, professor, programmer, promotion, protest, provoke, prune, pub, pudding, puddle, puffin, puma, pumpkin, punishment, punk, puppet, purity, purse, puzzle, pyramid, quarter, queen, queue, quicksand, quill, quilt, quokka, raccoon, race, racecar, radar, radiation, radio, radish, raft, rail, rain, rainbow, raincoat, raindrop, rainforest, raisin, rake, ram, ramp, rapper, raspberry, rat, ravioli, razor, razorblade, read, reality, reception, receptionist, record, rectangle, recycling, red, red carpet, reeds, referee, reflection, reindeer, relationship, religion, remote, repeat, reptile, rest, restaurant, retail, revolver, rewind, rhinoceros, rib, ribbon, rice, ring, ringtone, risk, river, roadblock, robber, robin, robot, rock, rocket, rockstar, roll, roof, room, rooster, root, rose, royal, rubber, ruby, rug, ruler, run, rune, sad, saddle, safari, safe, sailboat, salad, sale, saliva, salmon, salt, saltwater, sand, sand castle, sandbox, sandstorm, sandwich, satellite, sauce, sauna, sausage, saxophone, scar, scarecrow, scarf, scary, scent, school, science, scientist, scissors, scoop, score, scream, screen, screw, scribble, scuba, sculpture, scythe, sea, sea lion, seafood, seagull, seahorse, seal, search, seashell, seasick, season, seat belt, seaweed, second, security, seed, seesaw, semicircle, sensei, server, sew, sewing machine, shadow, shake, shallow, shampoo, shape, shark, shaving cream, sheep, shelf, shell, shipwreck, shirt, shock, shoe, shoebox, shoelace, shop, shopping, shopping cart, short, shotgun, shoulder, shout, shovel, shower, shrew, shrub, shy, sick, signature, silence, silo, silver, silverware, sing, sink, sit, six pack, skateboard, skateboarder, skates, skeleton, ski, ski jump, skin, skinny, skribbl.io, skull, skunk, sky, skydiving, skyline, skyscraper, slam, sledge, sledgehammer, sleep, sleeve, slide, slime, slingshot, slippery, slope, sloth, slow, slump, smell, smile, smoke, snail, snake, sneeze, sniper, snow, snowball, snowball fight, snowboard, snowflake, snowman, soap, soccer, social media, socket, socks, soda, soil, soldier, sombrero, son, sound, soup, south, space, space suit, spaceship, spade, spaghetti, spark, sparkles, spatula, speaker, spear, spelunker, sphinx, spider, spin, spinach, spine, spiral, spit, spoiler, sponge, spool, spoon, spore, sports, spray paint, spring, sprinkler, spy, square, squid, squirrel, stab, stadium, stage, stamp, stand, stapler, star, starfish, starfruit, statue, steam, step, stereo, sting, stingray, stomach, stone, stoned, stop sign, stork, storm, stove, straw, strawberry, streamer, street, stress, strong, student, studio, study, stylus, submarine, subway, sugar, suitcase, summer, sun, sunburn, sunflower, sunglasses, sunrise, sunshade, supermarket, superpower, surface, surfboard, surgeon, survivor, sushi, swag, swamp, swan, swarm, sweat, sweater, swimming pool, swimsuit, swing, switch, sword, swordfish, symphony, table, table tennis, tablecloth, tablet, tabletop, taco, tadpole, tail, tailor, take off, talent show, tampon, tangerine, tank, tape, tarantula, target, taser, tattoo, taxi, taxi driver, tea, teacher, teapot, tear, teaspoon, teddy bear, telephone, telescope, television, temperature, tennis, tennis racket, tent, tentacle, text, thermometer, thief, thin, think, thirst, throat, throne, thug, thumb, thunder, thunderstorm, ticket, tickle, tie, tiger, time machine, timpani, tiny, tip, tiramisu, tire, tired, tissue, tissue box, toad, toast, toaster, toe, toenail, toilet, tomato, tomb, tombstone, tongue, toolbox, tooth, toothbrush, toothpaste, toothpick, top hat, torch, tornado, torpedo, tortoise, totem, toucan, touch, tourist, tow truck, towel, tower, toy, tractor, traffic, traffic light, trailer, train, translate, trap, trapdoor, trash can, traveler, treadmill, treasure, tree, treehouse, trend, triangle, trick shot, tricycle, trigger, triplets, tripod, trombone, trophy, tropical, truck, truck driver, trumpet, tuba, tug, tumor, tuna, tunnel, turd, turkey, turnip, turtle, tuxedo, twig, type, udder, ukulele, umbrella, uncle, underground, underweight, undo, unibrow, unicorn, unicycle, uniform, universe, upgrade, vacation, vaccine, vacuum, valley, vampire, vanilla, vanish, vault, vegetable, vegetarian, vein, vent, vertical, veterinarian, victim, victory, video, video game, village, villain, vine, vinegar, viola, violence, violin, virtual reality, virus, vise, vision, vitamin, vlogger, vodka, volcano, volleyball, volume, vomit, voodoo, vortex, vote, vulture, vuvuzela, waffle, waist, waiter, wake up, walk, wall, wallpaper, walnut, walrus, warehouse, warm, wart, wasp, watch, water, water cycle, water gun, waterfall, wave, wax, weak, wealth, weapon, weasel, weather, web, website, wedding, welder, well, werewolf, west, western, whale, wheel, wheelbarrow, whisk, whisper, whistle, white, wife, wig, wiggle, willow, wind, windmill, window, windshield, wine, wine glass, wing, wingnut, winner, winter, wire, wireless, witch, witness, wizard, wolf, wonderland, woodpecker, wool, work, workplace, world, worm, wound, wrapping, wreath, wrench, wrestler, wrestling, wrinkle, wrist, writer, x-ray, xylophone, yacht, yardstick, yawn, yearbook, yellow, yeti, yo-yo, yogurt, yolk, young, youtuber, zebra, zeppelin, zigzag, zipline, zipper, zombie, zoo, zoom,
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melville charitable has been created

By Herman Melville I AND MY CHIMNEY (i.) I and my chimney, two grey-headed old smokers, reside in the country. We are, I may say, old settlers here; particularly my old chimney, which settles more and more every day. Though I always say, I and my chimney, as Cardinal Wol- sey used to say, I and my King, yet this egotistic way of speak- ing, wherein I take precedence of my chimney, is hardly borne out by the facts; in everything, except the above phrase, my chimney taking precedence of me. Within thirty feet of the turf-sided road, my chimney——a huge, corpulent old Harry VIII of a chimney——rises full in front of me and all my possessions. Standing well up a hill-side, my chimney, like Lord Rosse's monster telescope, swung verti- cal to hit the meridian moon, is the first object to greet the ap- proaching traveler's eye; nor is it the last which the sun salutes. My chimney, too, is before me in receiving the first-fruits of the seasons. The snow is on its head ere on my hat; and every spring, as in a hollow beech tree, the first swallows build their nests in it. But it is within doors that the pre-eminence of y chimney is most manifest. When in the rear room, set apart for that ob- ject, I stand to receive my guests (who, by the way, call more, I suspect, to see my chimney than me), I then stand, not so much before, as, strictly speaking, behind my chimney, which is, indeed, the true host. Not that I demur. In the presence of my betters, I hope I know my place. From this habitual precedence of my chimney over me, some even think that I have got into a sad rearward way altogether; in short, from standing behind my old-fashioned chimney so much, I have got to be quite behind the age too, as well as running behindhand in everything else. But to tell the truth, I never was a very forward old fellow, nor what my farming neighbors call and forehanded one. Indeed, those rumors about my behindhandedness are so far correct, that I have an odd sauntering way with me sometimes of going about with my hands behind my back. As for my belonging to the rear-guard in general, certain it is, I bring up the rear of my chimney—— which, by the way, is this moment before me——and that, too, both in fancy and fact. In brief, my chimney is my superior; my superior by I know not how many heads and shoulders; my superior, too, in that humbly bowing over with shovel and tongs, I must minister to it; yet never does it minister, or in- cline over to me; but, if anything, in its settlings, rather leans the other way. My chimney is grand seignior here——the one great dom- ineering object, not more of the landscape, than of the house; all the rest of which house, in each architectural arrangement, as may shortly appear, is, in the most marked manner, accom- modated, not to my wants, but to the chimney's, which, among other things, has the centre of the house to itself, leaving but the odd holes and corners to me. But I and my chimney must explain; and, as we are both rather obese, we may have to expatiate. In those houses which are strictly double houses——that is, where the hall is in the middle——the fireplaces usually are pon opposite sides; so that while one member of the household is warming himself at a fire built into a recess of the north wall, say another member, the former owner's brother, perhaps, may be holding his feet to the blaze before a hearth in the south wall——the two thus fairly sitting back to back. Is this well? Be it put to any man who has a proper fraternal feeling. Has it not a sort of sulky appearance? But very probably this style of chimney building originated with some architect afflicted with a quarrelsome family. Then again, almost every modern fireplace has its separate flue——separate throughout, from hearth to chimney-top. At least such an arrangement is deemed desirable. Does this not look egotistical, selfish? But still more, all these separate flues, instead of having independent masonry establishments of their own, or instead of being grouped together in one federal stock in the middle of the house——instead of this, I say, each flue is surreptitiously honey-combed into the walls; so that these last are here and there, or indeed almost anywhere, treacherously hollow, and, in consequence, more or less weak. Of course, the main reason of this style of chimney building is to economize room. In cities, where lots are sold by the inch, small space is to spare for a chimney constructed on magnani- mous principles; and, as with most thin men, who are generally tall, so with such houses, what is lacking in breadth must be made up in height. This remark holds true even with regard to many very stylish abodes, built by the most stylish of gentle- men. And yet, when that stylish gentleman, Louis le Grand of France, would build a palace for his lady friend, Madame de Maintenon, he built it but one story high——in fact, in the cot- tage style. But then, how uncommonly quadrangular, spacious, and broad——horizontal acres, not vertical one. Such is the pal- ace which, in all its one-storied magnificence of Languedoc marble, in the garden of Versailles, still remains to this day. Any man can buy a square foot of land and plant a liberty- pole upon it; but it takes a king to set apart whole acres for a Grand Trianon. But nowadays it is different; and furthermore, what origi- nated in a necessity has been mounted into a vaunt. In towns there is a large rivalry in building tall houses. If one gentleman builds his house four stories high, and another gentleman comes next door and builds five stories high, then the former, not to be looked down upon that way, immediately sends for his architect and claps a fifth and a sixth story on top of his pre- vious four. And, not til the gentleman has achieved his aspira- tion, not till he has stolen over the way by twilight and observed how the sixth story soars beyond his neighbor's fifth——not till then does he retire to rest with satisfaction. Such folks, it seems to me, need mountains for neighbors, to take this emulous conceit of soaring out of them. If, considering that mine is a very wide house, and by no means lofty, aught in the above may appear like interested pleading, as if I did but fold myself about in the cloak of a gen- eral proposition, cunningly to tickle my individual vanity be- neath it, such misconceptions must vanish upon my frankly conceding that land adjoining my alder swamp was sold last month for ten dollars an acre, and thought a rash purchase at that; so that for wide houses hereabouts there is plenty of room, and cheap. Indeed, so cheap——dirt cheap——is the soil, that our elms thrust out their roots in it, and hang their great boughs over it, in the most lavish and reckless way. Almost all our crops, too, are sown broadcast, even peas and turnips. A farmer among us, who should go about his twenty-acre field, poking his finger into it here and there, and dropping down a mustard seed, would be thought a penurious, narrow-minded husbandman. The dandelions in the river-meadows, and the forget-me-nots along the mountain roads, you see at once they are put to no economy in space. Some seasons, too, our rye comes up, here and there a spear sole and single like a church- spire. It doesn't care to crowd itself where it knows there is such a deal of room. The world is wide, the world is all before us, says the rye. Wees, too, it is amazing how they spread. No such thing as arresting them——some of out pastures being a sort of Alsatia for the weeds. As for the grass, every spring it is like Kossuth's rising of what he calls the peoples. Mountains, too, a regular camp-meeting of them. For the same reason, the same all-sufficiency of room, our shadows march and countermarch, going through their various drills and masterly evolutions, like the old imperial guard on the Champs de Mars. As for the hills, especially where the roads cross them, the supervisors of our various towns have given notice to all concerned, that they can come and dig them down and cart them off and never a cent to pay, no more than for the privilege of picking blackberries. The stranger who is buried here, what liberal-hearted landed proprietor among us grudges him his six feet of rocky pasture? Nevertheless, cheap, after all, as our land is, and much as it is trodden under foot, I, for one, am proud of it for what it bears; and chiefly for its three great lions——the Great Oak, Ogg Mountain, and my chimney. Most houses are are but one and a half stories high; few exceed two. That in which I and my chimney dwell, is in width nearly twice its height, from sill to eaves——which accounts for the magnitude of its main content——besides showing that in this house, as in this country at large, there is abundance of space, and to spare, for both of us. The frame of the old house is of wood——which but the more sets forth the solidity of the chimney, which is of brick. And as the great wrought nails, binding the clapboards, are unknown in these degenerate days, so are the huge bricks in the chimney walls. The architect of the chimney must have had the pyramid of Cheops before him; for after that famous structure it seems modeled, only its rate of decrease towards the summit is con- siderably less, and it is truncated. From the exact middle of the mansion it soars from the cellar, right up through each suc- cessive floor, till, four feet square, it breaks water from the ridge-pole of the roof, like an anvil-headed whale, through the crest of a billow. Most people, though, liken it, in that part, to a razeed observatory, masoned up. The reason for its peculiar appearance above the roof touches upon rather delicate ground. How shall I reveal that, foras- much as many years ago the original gable roof of the old house had become very leaky, a temporary proprietor hired a band of woodmen, with their huge, crosscut saws, and went to saw- ing the old gable roof clean off. Off it went, with all its birds' nests, and dormer windows. It was replaced with a modern roof, more fit for a railway wood-house than an old country gentleman's abode. This operation——razeeing the structure some fifteen feet——was, in effect upon the chimney, something like the falling of the great spring tides. It left uncommon low water all about the chimney——to abate which appearance, the same person now proceeds to slice fifteen feet off the chimney itself, actualyl beheading my royal old chimney——a regicidal act which, were it not for the palliating fact that he was a poulterer by trade, and, therefore, hardened to such neck- wringings, should send that former proprietor down to pos- terity in the same cart with Cromwell. Owing to its pyramidal shape, the reduction of the chimney inordinately widened its razeed summit. Inordinately, I say, but only in the estimation of such as have no eye to the pic- turesque. What care I, if, unaware that my chimney, as a free citizen of this free land, stands upon an independent basis of its own, people passing it wondering how such a brick-kiln, as they call it, is supported upon mere joists and rafters? What care I? I will give a traveler a cup of switchel, if he ants it; but am I bound to supply him with a sweet taste? Men of cultivated minds see, in my old house and chimney, a goodly old elephant- and-castle. All feeling hearts will sympathize with me in what I am now about to add. The surgical operation, above referred to, nec- essarily brought into the open air a part of the chimney previously under cover, and intended to remain so and, there- fore, not built of what are called weather-bricks. In con- sequence, the chimney, though of a vigorous constitution, suffered not a little from so naked an exposure; and, unable to acclimate itself, ere long began to fail——showing blotchy symp- toms akin to those in the measles. Whereupon travelers, passing my way, would wag their heads, laughing: "See that wax nose ——how it melts off!" But what cared I? The same travelers would travel across the sea to view Kenilworth peeling away, and for a very good reason: that of all artists of the picturesque, decay wears the palm——I would say, the ivy. In fact, I've often thought that the proper place for my old chimney is ivied old England. In vain my wife——with what probable ulterior intent will, ere long, appear——solemnly warned me, that unless something were done, and speedily, we should be burnt to the ground, owing to the holes crumbling through the aforesaid blotchy parts, where the chimney joined the roof. "Wife," said I, "far better that my house should burn down, than my chimney should be pulled down, though but a few feet. They call it a wax nose; very good; not for me to tweak the nose of my superior." But at last the man who has a mortgage on the house dropped me a note, reminding me that, if my chimney was allowed to stand in that invalid condition, my policy of insurance would be void. This was a sort of hint not to be neglected. All the world over, the picturesque yields to the pocketesque. The mort- gagor cared not, but the mortgagee did. So another operation was performed. The wax nose was taken off, and a new one fitted on. Unfortunately for the expression ——being put up buy a squint-eyed mason who, at the time, had a bad stitch in the same side——the new nose stands a little awry, in the same direction. Of one thing, however, I am proud. The horizontal dimen- sions of the new part are unreduced. Large as the chimney appears upon the roof, that is nothing to its spaciousness below. At its base in the cellar, it is precisely twelve feet square; and hence covers precisely one hundred and fourty-four superficial feet. What an appropriation of terra firma for a chimney, and what a huge load for this earth! In fact, it was only because I and my chimney formed no part of his an- cient burden, that that stout peddler, Atlas of old, was enabled to stand up so bravely under his pack. The dimensions given may, perhaps, seem fabulous. But, like those stones at Gilgal, which Joshua set up for a memorial of having passed over Jor- dan, does not my chimney remain, even unto this day? Very often I go down into my cellar, and attentively survey the vast square of masonry. I stand long, and ponder over, and wonder at it. It has a druidical look, away down in the umbrageous cellar there, whose numerous vaulted passages, and far glens of gloom, resemble he dark, damp depths of primeval woods. So strongly did this conceit steal over me, so deeply was I penetrated with wonder at the chimney, that one day——when I was a little out of my mind, I now think——get- ting a spade from the garden, I set to work, digging round the foundation, especially at the corners thereof, obscurely prompted by dreams of striking upon some old, earthen-worn memorial of that bygone day when, into all this gloom, the light of heaven entered, as the masons laid the foundation-stones, peradventure sweltering under the August sun, or pelted by a March storm. Plying my blunted spade, how vexed was I by that ungracious interruption of a neighbor, who, calling to see me upon some business, and being informed that I was below, said I need not be troubled to come up, but he would go down to me; and so, without ceremony, and without my having been forewarned, suddenly discovered me, digging in my cellar. "Gold-digging, sir?" "Nay, sir," answered I, starting, "I was merely——ahem! merely ——I say merely digging——round my chimney." "Ah, loosening the soil, to make it grow. Your chimney, sir, you regard as too small, I suppose; needing further develop- ment, especially at the top?" "Sir!" said I, throwing down the spade, "do not be personal. I and my chimney——" "Personal?" "Sir, I look upon this chimney less as a pile of masonry than as a personage. It is the king of the house. I am but a suffered and inferior subject." In fact, I would permit no gibes to be cast at either myself or my chimney; and never did my visitor refer to it in my hearing, without coupling some compliment with the mention. It deserves a respectful consideration. There it stands, solitary and alone——not a council -of-ten flues, but, like his sa- cred majesty of Russia, a unit of an autocrat. Even to me, its dimensions, at times, seem incredible. It does not look so big——no, not even in the cellar. By the mere eye, its magnitude can be but imperfectly comprehended, because only one side can be received at one time; and said side can only present twelve feet, linear measure. But then, each other side also is twelve feet long; and the whole obviously forms a square; and twelve times twelve is one hundred and forty-four. And so, and adequate conception of the magnitude of this chim- ney is only to be got at by a sort of process in the higher math- ematics, by a method somewhat akin to those whereby the surprising distances of fixed stars are computed. It need hardly be said that the walls of my house are entirely free from fireplaces. These all congregate in the middle——in the one grand central chimney, upon all four sides of which are hearths——two tiers of hearths——so that when, in the various chambers, my family and guests are warming themselves of a cold winter's night, just before retiring, then, though at the time they may not be thinking so, all their faces mutually look towards each other, yea, all their feet point to one centre; and, when they go to sleep in their beds, they all sleep round one warm chimney, like so many Iroquois Indians, in the woods, round their one heap of embers. And just as the Indians' fire serves, not only to keep them comfortable, but also to keep off wolves, and other savage monsters, so my chimney, by its ob- vious smoke at he top, keeps off prowling burglars from the towns ——for what burglar or murderer would dare break into an abode from whose chimney issues such a continual smoke_— betokening that if the inmates are not stirring, at least fires are, and in case of an alarm, candles may be lighted, to say nothing of muskets. But stately as is the chimney——yea, grand high altar as it is, right worthy for the celebration of High Mass before the Pope of Rome, and all his cardinals——yet what is there perfect in this world? Caius Julius Caesar, had he not been so inordinately great, they say that Brutus, Cassius, Antony, and the rest, had been greater. My chimney, were it not so mighty in its magni- tude, my chambers had been larger. How often has my wife ruefully told me, that my chimney, like all English aristocracy, casts a contracting shade all round it. She avers that endless domestic inconveniences arise——more particularly from the chimney's stubborn central locality. The grand objection with her is that it stands midway in the place where a fine entrance- hall ought to be. In truth, there is no hall whatever to the house ——nothing but a sort of square landing-place, as you enter from the wide front door. A roomy enough landing-place, I admit, but not attaining to the dignity of a hall. Now, as the front door is precisely in the middle of the front of the house, inwards it faces the chimney. In fact, the opposite wall of the landing- place is formed solely by the chimney; and hence——owing to the gradual tapering of the chimney——is a little less than twelve feet in width. Climbing the chimney in this part, is the princi- pal staircase——which, by three abrupt turns, and three minor landing-places, mounts to the second floor, where, over the front door, runs a sort of narrow gallery, something less than twelve feet long, leading to chambers on either hand. This gallery, of course, is railed; and so, looking down upon the stairs, and all those landing-places together, with the main one at bottom, resembles not a little a balcony for musicians, in some jolly old abode, in times Elizabethan. Shall I tell a weak- ness? I cherish the cobwebs there, and many a time arrest Biddy in the act of brushing them with her broom, and have many a quarrel with my wife and daughters about it. Now the ceiling, so to speak, of the place where you enter the house, that ceiling is, in fact, the ceiling of the second floor, not the first. The two floors are made one here, so that ascend- ing this turning stairs, you seem to go up into a kind of soar- ing tower, or light-house. At the second landing, midway up the chimney, is a mysterious door, entering to a mysterious closet; and here I keep mysterious cordials, of a choice, mys- terious flavor, made so by the constant nurturing and subtle ripening of the chimney's gentle heat, distilled through that warm mass of masonry. Better for wines is it than voyages to the Indies; my chimney itself a tropic. A chair by my chimney in a November day is as good for an invalid as a long season spent in Cuba. Often I think how grapes might ripen against my chimney. How my wife's geraniums bud there! Bud in December. Her eggs, too——can't keep them near the chimney, on account of hatching. Ah, a warm heart has my chimney. How often my wife was at me about that projected grand entrance-hall of hers, which was to be knocked clean through the chimney, from one end of the house to the other, and as- tonish all guests by its generous amplitude. "But, wife," said I, "the chimney——consider the chimney: if you demolish the foundation, what is to support the superstructure?" "Oh, that will rest on the second floor." The truth is, women know next to nothing about the realities of architecture. However, my wife still talked of running her entries and partitions. She spent many long nights elaborating her plans; in imagination build- ing her boasted hall through the chimney, as though its high mightiness were a mere spear of sorrel-top. At last, I gently reminded her that, little as she might fancy it, the chimney was a fact——a sober, substantial fact, which, in all her plannings, it would be well to take into full consideration. But this was not of much avail. And here, specially craving her permission, I must say a few words about this enterprising wife of mine. Though in years nearly as old as myself, in spirit she is young as my little sorrel mare, Trigger, that threw me last fall. What is extraordi- nary, though she comes of a rheumatic family, she is straight as a pine, never has any aches; while for me with the sciatica, I am sometimes as crippled up as any old apple tree. But she has not so much as a toothache. As for her hearing——let me en- ter the house in my dusty boots, and she away up in the attic. And for her sight——Biddy, the housemaid, tells other people's housemaids, that her mistress will spy a spot on the dresser straight through the pewter platter, put up on purpose to hide it. Her faculties are alert as her limbs and her senses. No danger of my spouse dying of torpor. The longest night in the year I've known her to lie awake, planning her campaign for the mor- row. She is a natural projector. The maxim, "Whatever is, is right," is not hers. Her maxim is, Whatever is, is wrong; and what is more, must be altered; and what is still more, must be altered right away. Dreadful maxim for the wife of a dozy old dreamer like me, who dotes on seventh days as days of rest, and, out of sabbatical horror of industry, will, on a week-day, go out of my road a quarter of a mile, to avoid the sight of a man at work. That matches are made in heaven, may be, but my wife would have been just the wife for Peter the Great, or Peter the Piper. How she would have set in order that huge littered em- pire of the one, and with indefatigable painstaking picked the peck of pickled peppers for the other. But the most wonderful thing is, my wife never thinks of her end. Her youthful incredulity, as to the plain theory, and still plainer fact of death, hardly seems Christian. Advanced in years, as she knows she must be, my wife seems to think that she is to teem on, and be inexhaustible forever. She doesn't believe in old age. At that strange promise in the plain of Mamre, my old wife, unlike old Abraham's, would not have jeeringly laughed within herself. Judge how to me, who, sitting in the comfortable shadow of my chimney, smoking my comfortable pipe, with ashes not unwelcome at my feet, and ashes not unwelcome all but in my mouth; and who am thus in a comfortable sort of not unwel- come, though, indeed, ashy enough way, reminded of the ul- timate exhaustion even of the most fiery life; judge how to me this unwarrantable vitality in my wife must come, sometimes, it is true, with a moral and a calm, but oftener with a breeze and a ruffle. If the doctrine be true, that in wedlock contraries attract, but how cogent a fatality must I have been drawn to my wife! While spicily impatient of present and past, like a glass of gin- ger-beer she overflows with her schemes; and, with like energy as she puts down her foot, puts down her preserves and her pickles, and lives with them in a continual future; or ever full of expectations both from time and space, is ever restless for newspapers, and ravenous for letters. Content with the years that are gone, taking no thought for the morrow, and looking for no new thing from any person or quarter whatever, I have not a single scheme or expectation on earth, save in unequal resistance of the undue encroachment of hers. Old myself, I take to oldness in things; for that cause mainly loving old Montaigne, and old cheese, and old wine; and eschewing young people, hot rolls, new book, and early potatoes, and very fond of my old claw-footed chair, and old club-footed Deacon White, my neighbor, and that still nigher old neighbor, my betwisted grape-vine, that of a summer evening leans in his elbow for cosy company at my window- sill, while I, within doors, lean over mine to meet his; and above all, high above all, am fond of my highmanteled old chimney. But she, out of that infatuate juvenility of hers, takes to nothing but newness; for that cause mainly, loving new cider in autumn, and in spring, as if she were own daughter of Nebuchadnezzar, fairly raving after all sorts of salads and spin- aches, and more particularly green cucumbers (though all the time nature rebukes such unsuitable young hankerings in so elderly a person, by never permitting such things to agree with her), and has an itch after recently-discovered fine pros- pects (so no grave-yard be in the background), and also after Swedenborgianism, and the Spirit Rapping philosophy, with other new views, alike in things natural and unnatural; and immortally hopeful, is forever making new flower-beds even on the north side of the house, where the bleak mountain wind would scarce allow the wiry weed called hard-hack to gain a thorough footing; and on the road-side sets out mere pipestems of young elms; though there is no hope of any shade from them, except over the ruins of her great granddaughters' grave-stones; and won't wear caps, but plaits her gray hair; and takes the Ladies' Magazine for the fashions; and always buys her new almanac a month before the new year; and rises at dawn; and to the warmest sunset turns a cold shoulder; and still goes on at odd hours with her new course of history, and her French, and her music; and likes young company; and offers to ride young colts; and sets out young suckers in the orchard; and has a spite against my elbowed old grape-vine, and my club-footed old neighbor, and my claw-footed old chair, and above all, high above all, would fain persecute, unto death, my high- manteled old chimney. By what perverse magic, I a thousand times think, does such a very autumnal old lady have such a very vernal young soul? When I would remonstrate at times, she spins round on me with, "Oh, don't you grumble, old man (she always calls me old man), it's I, young I, that keep you from stagnating." Well, I suppose it is so. Yea, after all, these things are well ordered. My wife, as one of her poor relations, good soul, intimates, is the salt of the earth, and none the less the salt of my sea, which otherwise were unwholesome. She is its monsoon, too blowing a brisk gale over it, in the one steady direction of my chimney. Not insensible of her superior energies, my wife has fre- quently made me propositions to take upon herself all the responsibilities of my affairs. She is desirous that, domestically, I should abdicate; that, renouncing further rule, like the vener- able Charles V, I should retire into some sort of monastery. But indeed, the chimney excepted, I have little authority to lay down. My wife's ingenious application of the principle that certain things belong to right to female jurisdiction, I find myself, through my easy compliances, insensibly stripped by de- grees of one masculine prerogative after another. In a dream I go about my fields, a sort of lazy, happy-go-lucky, good-for- nothing, loafing old Lear. Only by some sudden revelation am I reminded who is over me; as year before last, one day seeing in one corner of the premises fresh deposits of mysterious boards and timbers, the oddity of the incident at length begat serious meditation. "Wife," said I, "whose boards and timbers are those I see near the orchard there? Do you know anything about them, wife? Who put them there? You know I do not like the neighbors to use my land that way; they should ask per- mission first." She regarded me with a pitying smile. "Why, old man, don't you know I am building a new barn? Didn't you know that, old man?" This is the poor old lady that was accusing me of tyrannizing over her. To return now to the chimney. Upon being assured of the futility of her proposed hall, so long as the obstacle remained, for a time my wife was for a modified project. But I could never exactly comprehend it. As far as I could see through it, it seemed to involve the general idea of a sort of irregular arch- way, or elbowed tunnel, which was to penetrate the chimney at some convenient point under the stair-case, and carefully avoiding dangerous contact with fireplaces, and particu- larly steering clear of the great interior flue, was to conduct the enterprising traveler from the front door all the way into the dining-room in the remote rear of the mansion. Doubtless it was a bold stroke of genius, that plan of hers, and so was Nero's when he schemed his grand canal through the Isthmus of Corinth. Nor will I take oath, that, had her project been ac- complished, then, by help of lights hung at judicious intervals through the tunnel, some Belzoni or other might have suc- ceeded in future ages to penetrate through the masonry, and actually emerging into the dining-room, and once there, it would have been inhospitable treatment of such a traveler to have denied him a recruiting meal. But my bustling wife did not restrict her objections, nor in the end confine her proposed alterations to the first floor. Her ambition was of the mounting order. She ascended with her schemes to the second floor, and so to the attic. Perhaps there was some small ground for her discontent with things as they were. The truth is, there was no regular passage-way up stairs or down, unless we again except that little orchestra-gallery before mentioned. And all this was owing to the chimney, which my gamesome spouse seemed despitefully to regard as the bully of the house. On all its four sides, nearly all the cham- bers sidled up to the chimney for the benefit of a fireplace. The chimney would not go to them; they must needs go to it. The consequence was, almost every room, like a philosophical sys- tem, was in itself an entry, or passage-way to other rooms, and systems of rooms——a whole suite of entries, in fact. Going through the house, you seem to be forever going somewhere, and getting nowhere. It is like losing one's self in the woods; round and round the chimney you go, and if you arrive at all, it is just where you started, and so you begin again, and again get nowhere. Indeed——though I say it not in the way of fault- finding at all——never was there so labyrinthine an abode. Guests will tarry with me several weeks and every now and then, be anew astonished at some unforeseen apartment. 
from Herman Melville : Selected Tales and Poems Edited, with an introduction by Richard Chase Rinehart Edition paperback, seventh printing, 1959; pp. 159 —173.
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submitted by MarleyEngvall to melvillecharitable [link] [comments]

Immaterial Girl - (Criticism is extremely welcome, I am a new writer)

In a rug-lined room somewhere in the middle of Singapore the man’s brain was in a kernel panic. Pyotr had never been shot in the head, but he didn’t ever imagine it would feel like this. Actually, he wasn’t thinking or feeling much at all at this point. All of the normal thought-loops had ceased and a seizure was coming on in full force.
The rugs were antique from somewhere in the CIS, probably Russia but it was equally likely that they were from some other palace in a former-Soviet state. It was odd to see a Eurasian room like this in South East Asia, but it wasn’t the oddest incidence of Russian capital flight from the late-2010s. To this day there’s emus wandering Australia as a result of a poorly-managed three million-acre farm acquisition by another one of the New Russians.
Adriana dropped the gun and turned to the fireplace to gaze at the flames. In that moment, every trite and sentimental Hollywood example of the destructive capacity of fire began to flood her mind. Forest fires taking the homes of millions of Californians. Firefighters opening doors only to get fried by the sudden fuel a hallways full of oxygen provides. House fires where it’s thought that Mr. Wiggles the kitty cat wouldn’t make it out alive, but he does via a dashing exit through the third floor window, albeit with singed whiskers.
She turned to look back at Pyotr’s body to find his pet Samoyed whimpering and licking at the the puddle of blood that had oozed out of his dome. Poor doggy, she’d forgotten about him in the heat of the moment. She always used to call him her “nebol’shoye oblako”, her little cloud. The thought of calling him her “little tampon” intruded aggressively. She couldn’t help but smirk.
“So that’s it? He’s gone?” she said aloud to an audience of one plus a pet, unconscious of the fact that she was still grinning. She assumed she would be able to move on pretty quickly after the murder. After all, she was raised on a training set of Hollywood movies and Youtube videos. Everyone gets killed in the movies, particularly the bad guys. What she was really struggling to grasp was the fact that he was truly gone. She’d never had to worry about being “truly gone”; her body was just a conventionally-attractive conduit for a consciousness that was hosted on the cloud and infinitely available in an instant.
She turned back to the fire and her thoughts turned to Hell. Violent sinners were sent to the 7th circle to drown eternally in a river of boiling blood and fire. Adriana wasn’t religious, but the thought lingered. She imagined meeting him there, and him spitting on her from one of the higher rungs. Hell was bad enough, but the idea of being in a deeper Hell than him was unbearable. What was worse: being gone forever or spending and eternity burning? Part of her thought that at least being gone would mean less pain, but in the same instant she started to question whether that sort of utilitarian calculus made any sense in a metaphysical situation.
In an effort to exit the train of thought she pivoted back to Pyotr and the little tampon. It had begun to try and comfort its now departed master, and had rolled around in the crimson pool in the process. “Puppy! Puppy, come ‘ere!” she chirped in that characteristic faux-excited doggie talk that almost everyone does, patting her lap in tandem. It reluctantly stood up and sauntered over to her. She got down on her knees and embraced him. “Is this how you comfort a dog?” she thought. Frankly, she hadn’t deeply considered the feelings of the dog until this very moment. Extra frankly, she imagined that dogs were simple machines that were happy to be fed and pet, and associated those two sources of joy with whoever would best provide them. The dog began to whimper again. Did it miss him? Suddenly the thought that others might miss him entered her head. “He was a terrible man” she thought. There was no way around it. But still, this poor thing was clearly experiencing a fit of...emotional pain? She wondered what was really being hurt when you hurt someone’s feelings. It was a trite thought, but still something about it bothered her. Her arms had gone slack but were still hanging onto the dogs coat by the virtue of blood’s natural clotting abilities. “How about a bath?” she asked--it was an empty question, she was the agent left in the room and the dog would go where it was told. Right?
She didn’t want to risk having to argue with the thing, so she lifted him up and wobbled toward the bathroom. While Samoyeds definitely look heavier than they are due to their sheer volume of fur, this one had clearly been well-fed by Pyotr. She sat fully-clothed with it in the empty tub and turned the faucet to room temperature. The water came out cold, which hardly mattered for her but must have sucked for the pup. At first it scrambled against the chilliness but she held on for dear life. Just how dear was a life? Sorry. Anyway, by the time the tub was filled she and the dog were in the midst of a literal bloodbath. Ha. Horrible timing. She grins because she had the same thought. The thought of drowning the dog invaded her mind, and for a second she thought maybe it would be the most pragmatic thing to do. She was already set for the 7th circle of Hell, how much further below could she go?
Fortunately for the dog, the thought was interrupted by a transmission from her handler.
“Hi James, the jobs done.” she said clinically.
“Great work Adriana, he was a terrible man, we really appreciate you doing that for us. Does bitcoin work well for payment? I think I already have your wallet address here somewhere”
“Yeah Bitcoin works, but hey, James? What do I do about the dog?”
“Doesn’t matter to me. Does it matter to you? Anyway, I’ve gotta make another call here Adri but I’ll send you the BTC right now. Thank you again. Cheers”
The dog turned to her and asked “Yeah, what about me? Does it matter to you?”
Adrianna was for the lack of a better word, dumbfounded.
submitted by DeconstructiveKrit to flashfiction [link] [comments]

An alternative to, heat problems and energy problems but I need help.

Hey guys. I am on my way to break through the barrier on what is productive in the sense of bitcoin production.
First is heat.
My plan is to connect and regulate the heat from bit mining to my hot water tank (possibly two tanks as the lower tank would overheat the chip) hmm... Do i make sense?
I would like to get water coolers to attach to the GPU and CPU and dump the water to the hot water tank... Okay, it may sound ridiculous but I have and manage an apartment that has 8 room mates, trust me, that hot water tank is a burden on my electricity bill. Having enough electricity and GPU units to fully heat a hot water tank is essentially my dream. Why?
I have a gas fireplace and I would like to somehow run that sucker to generate electricity, possibly and hopefully enough to run my bit farm.
My current budget at the moment is roughly $2000 for any changes or modds.
If anyone has any ideas or wants to collaborate with me, let me know. I am dying to escape the electric bill and see some seriously awesome options.
This guy had an awesome idea back in 07 and I wanna change and expand on it.
Also, I have about 20 bit coins I can cash in, but I would rather hoard them.
http://hackedgadgets.com/2007/01/07/water-cooling-computers-with-a-swimming-pool/
submitted by fataii to Bitcoin [link] [comments]

[Table] IamA guy who accidentally started a soy candle business while high. AMA! (Second time)

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-12-21
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Why soy? It was the first wax I stumbled upon when I started my candle making supply search. The more I learned about it, the more I liked it. It's made from soy beans, so it's renewable, and all the beans are grown in the Midwest. I grew up on a farm, so I know how important it is to support farmers. It's completely biodegradable and nontoxic. You can literally eat it. When I started researching paraffin wax, I was shocked. It's a byproduct of petroleum refinement, and contains carcinogens that cause cancer. It's not renewable, the process of getting it is quite damaging to the environment, and the wax burns faster than soy.
Hm, interesting stuff. Are most candles made of paraffin wax? Yes. I imagine the fact that it wont spoil like soy wax will is the reason it's used by large candle companies.
What is the half-life of a soy candle? One year.
I bought two candles from you in early October; Oakmass and Amber and Falling Leaves. By far the greatest candles I've ever had. They last long, smell insanely nice and actually scents up a room, and you're local-ish! When I order more, can I do a home pick up and burn one with you? Candle burning not required. You're too kind! I'm glad you liked them. Yeah, we can definitely burn up if you want to. Save a little cash on shipping, too.
I hope you don't wind up murdered. We can carry concealed weapons in Wisconsin.
Are you in Madison? Madison is kinda weird, but I love it. I'm just outside of Madison.
Do you ever smoke with the soy candles man? Who's he?
On a scale of 1 to Unicorns, how high were you? Banana.
So I could get a candle named CUNT_DESTROYER? Yes. If you tell me to name it that, I will. It's your money, yo!
Have you considered applying for Shark Tank? That would be an interesting episode. I would never get a deal on that show, nor would I want one. Giving up any ownership is not an option. This is all mine. I would, however, love the national publicity. That would help my growth tremendously.
Just have a really nice intro, of explaining your candles, and all of that stuff so people get interested. Then just bomb the interview, act like a dumbass so you get no offers, have a big billboard with your website and stuff behind you. There ya go. Alright. Somebody call Hollywood and get me on that show!
For someone who isn't a candle connoisseur, what is your favorite scent? recommendations? I have a lot of favorite scents. Oakmoss and Amber is earthy and sweet. Caribbean Teakwood is dark and leathery. Blueberry Cheesecake makes you want to eat the candle, itself... Those are just a few of my faves, but I really like most of the scents I offer.
But CAN you eat the candles? It is just soy right... Without scent oil and dye, you could eat the candle. Soy wax is actually a really good skin moisturizer. Mix a little extra virgin olive oil into pure soy wax, and say goodbye to dry skin. I should start offering that...
What candle best covers up the smell of pets? All of them are scented strongly, so they'll do a good job. Except for maybe a scent like Rain, or Ocean Mist... They are just a lighter scent. Strong, but light.
Anything special you do to prevent frosting? Frosting is a tricky one... I can't give away my secrets...I've spent months trying different environments to let the candles cure in...but I've eliminated it as well as I can. Most candles have none, but a few have a little patch or two of frosting. The appearance of frosting is a good indicator of your candle being made with 100% soy wax, though, so it ain't all bad.
For those of us who don't know, what is frosting and why would you want to prevent it? Frosting is when the wax crystallizes during the curing process. It does no harm to the candle, it's just not pleasing to the eye for some people.
So pretty much frosting is a little tiny ugly mark on the candle? It can be tiny marks, or cover the whole thing. Most of it depends on the curing process, but they are still sensitive to rapid temperature drops after the wax is set.
Would you consider making a subscription candle service? I burn candles all day every day it would be awesome not to need to lug them from the store every week. That's a cool idea. How would I go about doing that?
Let me know if you need help with the set-up :-) I use Wordpress for my site, and Woocommerce for my cart. Will those work? I will need help with the set-up.
I must of missed the first ama and the repost in trees. But i need the story on how you started a soy candle business while high. got any tips for a stoner who is trying to start his own company? whats your favorite scent you have? I was high, staring at a candle burn for a long time just thinking about stuff. Then I realized that I couldn't smell that fancy Glade candle at all. I wondered if I could make my own candles better than Glade. So I browsed candle making supplies online, ordered 10 pounds of wax, 2 dozen jars, and some lilac scent oil. Several minutes later, I completely forgot I had done all that. Didn't think about it again until boxes showed up at my door. I had the "oh yeah, that's right!" moment, and got to work. I made all the candles and gave them away to friends and family. They liked them so much, they started requesting scents and paying me money for them. Then, local stores started contacting me to let them sell my candles. A few news papers interviewed me about my business, as well. It just keeps growing. And all I wanted to do was see if I could make a candle better than a air freshening company. I can assure you I have succeeded in doing that.
My tip would be to find something you think you can do better than what's out there, and then do it.
My favorite scent right now is Winter Cabin.
Please tell me you told the news outlet's that you were high when you started your business. "I was lying on my couch, staring at a candle for what seemed like hours..."
That was the closest I've come.
Do you sell on amazon? No, but somebody recently gave me the idea to sell there. I look to expand my presence online quite a bit in the new year.
How do you get stores to sell your candles? Have you ever thought of outsourcing production to China? Some stores contacted me about selling my stuff. With others, I would just walk into a store with a couple candles and sell them on why they should carry my candles. I would never move production to China. I would like to become the largest candle company in the US, with everything made right here.
Was there a time where you weren't sure you could be successful because it was an idea you got while high? Not for that reason, but there have been times when I wondered how I would make people aware of my products. How would I become successful if nobody outside of southern Wisconsin has heard of me? I worried about stuff like that. Then, I did my first AMA, and the exposure from Reddit helped build a coast to coast customer base that to this day continues to grow.
You seem to have great ideas when stoned. Do you come up with your new products while high? I ask a lot of questions. I ask people what they want. I'll be adding a 16 ounce candle in a glass container, soon. Double wicked...just have to work out the right wick combination... People have been asking for a larger size, so I'll sell a larger size. It's your money, you know? If you want me to make something that I don't have, and I can get the stuff to make it, I'll do it.
Do you use hemp wicks, and if no, why not? I haven't tried them yet, but I'm always trying new wicks to find the perfect one, so I'm sure in the future I will eventually try them. Whether or not I end up using them is dependent on how they perform.
I'd love to try your candles if you found a way to use wooden wicks. I found a wood wicked candle about a year ago and burned it sparingly just so that I could enjoy it longer (the sound is just heavenly), but now I can't seem to find another. TL;DR: Maybe try wooden wicks? :D Wooden wicks are on the horizon! Stay tuned...
How do your wax melts compare to the name brand (Scentsy) melts? Definitely thinking about buying some tonight. The only way for you to find out, is to try them. But, mine honestly blow scentsy's away. My wax melts are 6 ounces, compared to scentsy's 3. The cubes are one ounce each, and I get at least 5 days of noticeably strong scent release while keeping the warmer going 24 hours a day. Then, you'll get a few more days of adequate scent release. If you try them and don't think they're better, send them back and I'll refund your money. I've offered that return guarantee since I started, and haven't had a single thing sent back to me. I'm pretty sure you'll like mine more.
Can your melts be used in a Scentsy warmer? Being from Wisconsin myself and a warmer user you have me very close to switching my business. You certainly can!
Did you get a business license? If so, what kind? No.
How much money have you made from these soy candles? Is your stock public? I'm a one man operation who has reached the point of outgrowing his kitchen, and moving into a larger work space. The money has been a nice boost to my income, but it's nothing I can survive on by itself. No, stock is not public...I hope it never is.
Does this mean you have a day job? What do you do other than make and sell candles? Yeah. I work for a place that makes reed switches and various sensors for all kinds of applications.
Where are you based out of? South central Wisconsin.
Is that near Eau Claire? I'm in Waterloo. Just outside of Madison.
I'll be going to Madison for school in January. I may have to stop by and get a gift for someone. Or, you know, candles are awesome too. If it was okay to stop by, would there be a potential sniffing of various scents available? Also you made Bacon specifically in time for the AMA, didn't you? I usually have candles ready to be shipped out that you could smell. I started offering bacon a couple months ago due to demand from my previous exposures on Reddit. Give 'em what they want...
I go to the UW! They don't let us burn candles in our dorm, though. :( I make wax melts, too. If you buy a warmer, you can use my melts!
Have you consulted with any other self made entrepreneurs on how to make your operation fully sustainable? What, if any tips have you gotten? All of them tell me to keep doing what I'm doing. I've been trending up since the beginning, so if I keep growing at the pace I have been, I'll be there in a few years. I'm in no hurry. I want to do things right and maintain a top-notch product.
Is this the plot of Our Idiot Brother? Did Paul Rudd steal your life to make a movie? Yes he did, but how can you be mad at Paul Rudd?
Would you ever make a peony scented candle? Peonies are my favorite flowers and I haven't found a peony candle ever and I really like your candles. Also, I think this is really cool what you're doing. I hope it all works out! I'm getting one for my best friend for Christmas. I can get that scent. Next time I order supplies, I'll pick some up. Thanks!
Whats your company name? Mack's Olfactory
I see you have scent melts! Are those also soy based? If so, do they last longer than non soy based ones? Am I just silly and all the wax is the same wax for your products? Everything I make uses 100% soy. I've never used paraffin ones, so I don't know, but everyone tells me mine are stronger and last longer than Scentsy's.
Well, just bought 4. Wondered if you had ever seen a coiled candle Link to www.thisiswhyimbroke.com. I've always thought they looked cool. What's the worst smelling candle you've made? Like you were going for pineapple, but ended up with vomit. Thank you for trying them! I've never seen a candle like that before, but it's cool as hell! All of the scents I use come pre-bottled, so I'm not mixing anything myself. But, I can't stand the Banana Bread and Coffee scents. I just don't like them.
Do you plan on ever mixing your own scents? No. I don't have time for that. And I can buy thousands of different ones premixed.
Where would I go to be able to purchase one of these amazing candles? I'm being a little lazy and can't figure out how to search for this. Link to my website
I love you so much. I shared your candles with my peoples on facebook. NINJA EDIT: They are also cheaper than I thought they would be! I'm so excited. I love you, too! Thank you for sharing my link. I hope you enjoy them!
How fast is your shipping time? Do you offer overnight or next day? I hadn't heard of your candles before, and I know some people who would over them for Christmas presents. I make them to order, and I use priority mail from the USPS. They'd never get to you before Christmas. Sorry.
Hey you might not know, but are they GMO soybeans? Just curious. "The short answer is no. Only a very small percentage of the total US production of soy wax is organic. About 98% of the soybean harvest has been either genetically modified (GMO) or non-GMO mixed in with GMO soybeans. All of the soy wax in the US is made by just four companies, and none of them currently process organic soy oil into candle wax at this time."
Wish your stuff was cheaper to ship to Canada. I remember we traded PM's last time you posted, but it just didn't make sense to pay that much for shipping. What are some scents you thought would turn out nicely, but ultimately failed? I wish it was cheaper, too! Dozens of Canadians have wanted to buy, but nobody wants to pay $25 shipping costs. If a certain scent doesn't turn out nice, I'll try it from a different manufacturer. None of the marijuana scents have turned out nice, though. They don't smell anything like the real thing.
Is $25 a flat rate? That wouldn't be too terrible overall, if it was a big order. I'm in Canada and I see at least 8 scents that I would have to have :P. The weight has to stay under 4 pounds. Go over that, and the price skyrockets.
Ah, yeah that makes more sense. Approximately how many 8 oz candles would that be? 3.
That's really cool man. Think you could easily make candles in a low-resource environment? I'm a Peace Corps Volunteer who's got no fridge and no reliable electricity or running water- think I could do it? If you can start a fire and melt wax to a specific temperature, yes.
Simpsons or Family Guy? Both. I've been watching the Simpsons since they were on the Tracy Ullman show, and I enjoy the ridiculousness of Family Guy.
You're locked in a room with the CEO of ikeas teenage son and you have to choose what to watch between the two for the whole next eight days... If that's the scenario, then I choose Simpsons because I could easily watch the Softball episode over and over again for 8 days.
Damn it, Mattingly! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns!
Alright I'll buy your candles. Pleasure doing business with you.
Who's your favorite cast member on Friends? Don't know. Never watched it.
I was hoping for the answer Chandler... Ha! Nice.
Piggy Wiggly exists that far north? Always thought that was a southern thing. They're all over Wisconsin.
I'm actually making soy candles tomorrow for Christmas presents- any tips? Also, I was thinking about adding candy canes because they're gonna be peppermint scented. Would that be okay?? Be gentle when stirring in the scent, and pay attention to temperature details. I wouldn't add candy canes to a candle...unless you love mayhem.
off, Macks Olfactory is very clever and made me giggle. But my question is, have you ever tried anything like this before(starting your own business) and if things were to take off do you think you can keep up with the demand? Thanks for the ama and best of luck. I will be ordering soon! I've never done anything like this before. My dad ran two businesses, farming and a dump truck contracting company, so I can fall back on him for advice and whatnot, but so far I've done everything on my own. Promoting on Reddit has sometimes overwhelmed me with orders, and it would take a couple months to fill orders, but I needed that to find out what I had to do to keep up with the demand. Upgrading my equipment and production capacity will resolve that. I'll be able to make dozens of candles an hour in the near future.
Do you have a Marijuana scent? I haven't found one that smells anything like the real thing. I wont offer it if it's garbage.
I'd love to get some of these mailed to australia, would that be possible?? Shipping to Australia is over $40, unfortunately.
Hey Mack. I just placed another order a couple days ago. Will it make it by Christmas? Probably not, unfortunately. I just finished up all the orders placed before December 15th. Nothing placed after that has shipped yet.
Does the bacon scented candle really smell like bacon? And if so, would you ship to the UK? It has a Bacos smell to it, but it's not that bad.
Whats cent would be the best to have sex to? Long story short, I had a 14 hour sex marathon with this woman I worked with that started as a joke, but ended up happening. I had strawberry candles burning the whole time. To me, that is the best scent to have sex to.
How profitable is this business? Better than minimum wage? Also have you tried making any candy scents? Specifically chocolate. It's profitable. I'd have to sell a lot to live off the income, which will become easy to do once I start selling a lot because buying a ton of wax and jars all at once will save me tens of thousands of dollars compared to what I'm paying now in smaller quantities.
I'll look for a chocolate scent for you.
How can I be more like you? I really don't know.
What's your opinion on higher-end, "designer" candles? For example, Comme Des Garcons and Cire Trudon. Do you think that your candles compare, in quality? How did you learn to make candles? Would you consider apprenticing, or something like that, at a company like Cire Trudon to increase your candle-making prowess? Rip off. Mine may not look as fancy, but I'll go head to head with anyone when it comes to how well the candle can scent a room. And you'd have to be crazy to spend almost $100 on a 9 ounce candle...
Do you take bitcoin? No, but I should probably start. I laughed at the notion a few months ago when they were about $110... Kicking myself for that one.
How did you come up with the money to get started? I have an idea and no clue where to go from here. It only cost me about $100 to get started.
My only question is this: Where the hell were you a month ago when I was trying to figure out what christmas gifts to buy?! Hopefully, we'll both be around for a long, long time. There will be more Christmas's. More birthday's. Mack's Olfactory will be right here.
Would it be possible to make a candle that smelt like a fireplace? Would be nice for the apt. dwellers. I can and will do that.
Leg hair shavings? Okay. EDIT: I suck at jokes. That sounds like a wonderful idea, but I'd rather use that money to buy Christmas gifts for my family during this season. I've spent too much on myself already! That's the first thing I thought of, too. I didn't understand how hair was going to help me match scents.
You've mentioned before you're able to get pretty much any scent for someone who wants it. What is this range limited by? Is there a catalogue of scents to choose from besides those on your site? The range is limited by Google's ability to find the scent for me.
Is the business how you make your living? Not yet. I still have to work a full time job, which makes making candles difficult, especially when you get 60 orders dumped on you all at once like what just happened to me... I'll hopefully get to that point in a few years.
Where do you get the scents from? Do you just add a couple of drops of "blueberry" and get blueberry candles? This sounds very nice, btw. I hope you can maintain the quality and the vibe... I buy all the scents pre-bottled and highly concentrated.
Super late to this, but I would like to get some of your wax melts. What warmeburnewhatever it is do you recommend, and how exactly do you use them/how long do they last? Do you run the warmer constantly, or in cycles? I recommend any that has a 20-25 watt bulb in it. To use them you simply break off a cube, like getting an ice cube out of the tray, and you toss them into the warmer. Mine will emit a strong scent for about 5 days running 24 hours a day, then you'll get adequate scent for another few days. You can run the warmer whenever you want. It doesn't have to be all the time.
What's the difference in wax melts and breaking off chunks of candle wax to melt? Also, how long do your wax melts last? The candle wax I use for containers is a softer wax than the blend I use for the wax melts. The container wax is like soap. The wax melt wax is firmer and more brittle. One of my wax melt cubes will emit strong scent for about 5 days, being on 24 hours a day. Then, they will emit adequate scent for a few more days after that.
I used to joke about manly saw dust scented products... any chance that could come in a candle? I'll look for sawdust scent oil. If I can find it, I'll sell it.
Hello! Checked out your website and was wondering what your wicks are made out of? I'd like to purchase some for a pregnant friend and I've read about avoiding wicks with lead, and to look for cotton? Thank you Lead wicks aren't around anymore. Just like lead paint and leaded gas is no more. My wicks are made of cotton.
After reading through this AMA I would like to buy some candles, live in Sweden. Will you ever start to ship internationally? If I can find cheap shipping, yes.
This is awesome. Do requests cost extra? I really love sunflowers. I can get sunflower scent oil. Next time I order supplies, I'll pick some up. There's no extra cost.
What do you use to add scent to candles? And do you make it yourself? I buy pre-bottled, highly concentrated scent oils.
Dude I have a candle business too!!! Lol. How many candles can you make per batch? Right now, 7. But last night I bought equipment to be able to make dozens at a time.
Soy wax also burns at a lower temperature, so if you spill it on your skin (or put it there on purpose -- whatever floats your boat) you are less likely to get burned. It also cleans up with soap and water unlike regular wax. Soy wax is awesome! Do you ever refill containers for people? People who buy them locally will return the jars for me to reuse.
Have you ever made a pot-scented candle? Several, but none of them have smelled like the real thing.
Did you make the first candle, or find somebody who would? I've made every single one I've ever made.
Do you have a dog named Willie Nelson? No. I have a cat named KitKat.
Question two: have you seen our idiot brother? Yes. Paul Rudd stole the story of my life and made a movie.
If you do custom scents can you do one that smells like a Douglas Fir? The vast majority of Christmas/Pine/Tree smells just all smell like bad air fresheners to me. Like that little pine tree people put in their cars. I'd absolutely love a candle that actually smells like a Christmas tree. I will search for that.
I'm late as hell to the party, but i was curious if your business as it stands now is profitable/sustainable? It's been profitable since day one. If it keeps growing the way it has over the past 2 years, I should be able to live off the income. Fingers crossed!
What's your gross revenue and net profit? I'll let you know once my taxes are done.
Not anymore... That's why Mark Cuban is my favorite billionaire. Dude is good at making money, but he understands that there needs to be a fairness to it, otherwise it becomes harder for the little guy to make it...just like he did.
You make me a candle that smells even remotely like Angel Whispers from Glade and I'll be a huge customer. As soon as I found that scent they discontinued it. I can get you that scent... Next time I order supplies, I'll buy some.
Call it "Pisces Dream" and you'll be my hero! Send me a pm when you get some made. You got it!
WOAH! What a great idea! You should definitly have a website or something that a customer can go online and easily pick out a nice scent they like and be able to have it named after them! [3]+ I make all the labeling myself, so if people ordered something but wanted the name changed to whatever, I can do that. Just put in the comments when ordering that you want the name changed.
I will snap order 5 of those bitches. Now, if you can make a cherry/peppermint blend, and call it "Serenity", you will receive 10 additional orders from me. I will be ordering that scent on Monday. I don't know how shipping will be with all the holidays coming, but check back in a week or two, and I will have "Pisces Dream" ready to go...along with several other new scents. I'll look for a cherry/peppermint blend, too.
You're a bad motherfucker. Gettin shit done. The candle industry isn't going to revolutionize itself...
Oh! Oh! Oh! Glade used to make a soy candle called "earthly awakening" that I was obsessed with. It was also discontinued. If you can make a replica of this you've just earned yourself another life long customer. I can't find a replica of that scent, but Amazon has a six pack of them available. There's only one left, so you better hurry! It's $56.
Depending on the laws of the state it may not be required, nor be applicable. Some areas, like my state (Colorado), have no such thing as a "business license"... Instead, there are forms and licenses with different names and purposes, which may be optional depending on the nature of the business. I've asked several business owners around town if I need any business licenses, and they say no. I might need a sellers permit, though.
If you could make a eucalyptus scented candle I'd be pretty keen on it. Straight eucalyptus?
You totally should do this AMA with a butcher and a baker... for science. Besties.
Last updated: 2013-12-26 01:16 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
submitted by tabledresser to tabled [link] [comments]

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